if not from Venus then definitely from planet earth.
The men who sent me these messages on a dating site however are not on this planet. For some reason this week I've had a surge in messages which is odd as you normally only get a flurry if you go online and I've not checked the site for weeks. Anyway, how could i resist some of these guys...
1. " hi, very very knew to this.... " knew? new perhaps FAIL
2. "SEXY GIRL LOOKING FOR SEX FROM YOU" yes, in capitals. Yes you're a moron
3. "hi, how you doing, check me out" errmm no, you've been watching too many episodes of friends, now fuck right off
4." hi, i'm looking for love, any shape or size, if you're interested let me no" NO know, NO I WONT.
5." hi im new here if u want to no anything just let me no" Yes,i will once you go back to school mate.
6. titled *relasionship" I didn't open it
7. "I am a guy who is fun loving and likes a some good sex. Can you cope with some 3nights all night activity. then we might be compatible. Get back to me and see our common denominator. Other than that we can check the bearings.waiting for you!!!!!!" oh goody, how can i resist?
8. "Shrek here having trouble finding his princess Fiona,call out so I know where to look" quite a quirky message, if he didn't *actually* look like Shrek
9. "I am Thomas, im 37 and looking for a girlfriendrelationship.lease get in touch" errm NO.
Spoilt for choice as you can see. Which one to pick?
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ReplyDeleteHow did No8 ( not *the* No 8 *sigh* ) know you looked like Princess Fiona?
ReplyDelete'Poor, geographically remote, unemployed, average looks - can't afford your champagne habit.';-)
ReplyDeleteYoull no when Mr wright cums along.
ReplyDeletelol @flip :-)
ReplyDelete